but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
