Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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