We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
