***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Randomize
