She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
