If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
not ubering you a puppy
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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