she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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