honey bunches of taint.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
