i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
