Duck Duck Cougar?
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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