remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
