I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
