Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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