even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
