we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
