But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
