i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
