So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
