Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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