well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
