I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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