I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Just high enough for therapy.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Randomize
