6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
