New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
