You really coming over, don't trick.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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