TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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