i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
