I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Terrible idea I love it
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
