About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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