I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
