You work out of a Hotel?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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