i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
