did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
