You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
we should paint friendship bongs
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
