Barsexuality is the new black.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
It's not a walk of shame if you run
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
