I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
