And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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