Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Woke up backwards on a recliner
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
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