so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
My dick has a subreddit
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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