so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
