this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
