i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Randomize
