When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I looked at my own cervix.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
