Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
