just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
