so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Randomize
