The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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