Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(706): View more from Georgia

i would punch a child for taco bell

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(425): View more from Washington

i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant

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(310): View more from California

four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.

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(636): View more from Missouri

she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.

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(03): View more from

you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!

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(330): View more from Ohio

I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me

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(941): View more from Florida

I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!

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