chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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