just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
pray to the hookup gods
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
