So drunk its hurt
the condom got lost in my hair
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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