He asked me if I "almost moaned"
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
